We are told to be happy is to be sociable.
We have lost sight of who we really are.
In the US conversation is about how effective you are at turning your experience into stories, whereas Chinese person might be concerned with taking up too much of of the other persons time with inconsequential information.
10 000 hours to gain true expertise.
Reward system: orbitofrontal cortex, amygdala, nucleus accumbens: gets us excited about potential goals – activated by pictures of attractive people, money, chocolate, status, sex….dopamine is released in responce to anticipated pleasures (stimulating dopamin activity in mices makes them run around in empty cage until they drop dead); cocaine, herion stimulates dopamin activity; extroverts seem to be more susceptible in the reward sensitivity, high tendency to seek rewards, high-reactive person is more sensitive than average to novelty, extroverts gets an extra buzz from the pursuit and attainment of their goals/introverts dive up less easily.
Dopamin makes us act more rashly.
Flow is an optimal state in which you feel totally engages in an activity, you are neither bored or anxious, you don’t question your own adequacy, you pursue the activity for its own sake, not for the reqards it brings.
Psychological theories usually assume that we are motivated either by the need to eliminate an unpleasant condition like hunger or fear, or by the expectation of some future reward; in flow you work for no better reason than to keep on working.
Ghandi: A thoughtless word hardly ever escaped my tongue or pen. We find so many people impatient to talk. All the talking can be hardly said to be of any benefit to the world.
A man has as many social selves as there are distinct groups of persons about whose opinion he cares. He generally shows a different side of himself to each of these different groups.
Introverts and extroverts are differently social. Need for intimacy is alike.
Relationships make everyone happier but think quality over quantity.
The secret to life is to put yourself in the right lighting. For some, it’s a Broadway spotlight; for others, a lamplit desk. Use your natural powers — of persistence, concentration, and insight — to do work you love and work that matters. Solve problems. make art, think deeply.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
Carl Jung – situationism: social life is performance.
What you loved when you were a child and why?
Pay the attention to the others, what you envy.
We perceive talkers as smarter, more leaders than quiet type. There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas. We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.
Tendency to follow people who iniciate action, any action.
Professional will be more interested in listening and gathering information than asserting his opinion or dominating conversation.
Introverts are more likely to hear or implement suggestion.
Extroverted leaders are better at getting results from more passive workers.