„When we consider that each of us has only one life to live, isn’t it rather tragic to find men and women, with brains capable of comprehending the stars and the planets, talking about the weather; men and women, with hands capable of creating works of art, using those hands only for routine tasks; men and women, capable of independent thought, using their minds as a bowling-alley for popular ideas; men and women, capable of greatness, wallowing in mediocrity; men and women, capable of self-expression, slowly dying a mental death while they babble the confused monotone of the mob?“
V anglickém jazyce.
Rupi Kaur i want to apologize to all the women i have called beautiful
before i’ve called them intelligent or brave
i am sorry i made it sound as though
something as simple as what you’re born with
is all you have to be proud of
when you have broken mountains with your wit
from now on i will say things like
you are resilient, or you are extraordinary
not because i don’t think you’re beautiful
but because i need you to know
you are more than that
The 5 Love Languages // Gary Chapman If we are to develop an intimate relationship, we need to know each other’s desires. If we wish to love each other, we need to know what the other person wants.
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.
Most individuals who complain that their spouse does not talk do not mean literally that he or she never says a word. They mean that he or she seldom takes part in sympathetic dialogue. Listen for feelings. Ask yourself, “What emotion is my spouse experiencing?” When you think you have the answer, confirm it. Refuse to interrupt. Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas. My goal is to discover your thoughts and feelings. My objective is not to defend myself or to set you straight. It is to understand you. “I wish my husband would talk. I never know what he’s thinking or feeling,” she is pleading for intimacy. She wants to feel close to her husband, but how can she feel close to someone whom she doesn’t know? In order for her to feel loved, he must learn to reveal himself. If her primary love language is quality time and her dialect is quality conversation, her emotional love tank will never be filled until he tells her his thoughts and feelings. Maintain eye contact when your spouse is talking. That keeps your mind from wandering and communicates that he/she has your full attention.
Remember, emotions themselves are neither good nor bad. They are simply our psychological responses to the events of life.
No one likes to be forced to do anything. In fact, love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love. If we understand that, it may help us process their criticism in a more productive manner. A wife may say to her husband after he gives her a criticism, “It sounds like that is extremely important to you. Could you explain why it is so crucial?” Criticism often needs clarification. Initiating such a conversation may eventually turn the criticism into a request rather than a demand.
Gabor Maté // The Myth of Normal A study of people healthy enough to be self-actualized,“ he wrote in a widely read paper, „revealed that they were not „well-adjusted‘ (in the naive sense of approval of and identification with the culture).“ These healthy people, suggested Maslow, had a complex relationship with their „much less healthy culture.„
Ali Wong // Dear Girls When a man dedicates himself to taking care of his children it’s seen as a last resort. That it must be because he ran out of other options. That it’s plan Z. That it’s an indicator of his inability to provide for his family. Basically, that he’s a fucking loser.
Just accept that you’re not a genius. Once I told myself that, I was able to finally write.
Ve slovenském jazyce.
V českém jazyce.
MUDr. Ladislav Kužela // Zdraví bez léků Optimální je konzumovat 30 druhů rostlin týdně, rozmanitost je pro zdravý mikrobiom nejdůležitější.
V anglickém jazyce.
V anglickém jazyce.
The Algebra of Happiness // Scott Galloway There’s a decent amount of research indicating that exercise is the only real youth serum.
In the end, relationships are all that matters.
Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers // Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté Like power, dependence has become a dirty word. We want our children to be self-directing, self-motivated, self-controlled, self-orienting, self-reliant, and self-assured. We have put such a premium on independence that we lose sight of what childhood is about.
To foster independance we must first invite dependance; to promote individuation we must provide a sense of belonging and unity; to help the child separate we must assume the responsibility for keeping the child close.
The Moment of Lift: How Empowering Women Changes the World // Melinda Gates “Do you want to have a career or do you want to be a stay-at-home mom?” And my answer was “Yes!” First career, then stay-at-home mom, then a mix of the two, then back to career.
We try to share the roles, especially the disagreeable ones. We try to make sure we don’t make one person do the dirty work.
Imagine what it would be like to have a place within your own mind which is always calm, always still and always clear; a place that you can always return to, a sense of being at ease or at peace with whatever is happening in your life.
21 Lessons for the 21st Century // Yuval Noah Harari We are now creating tame humans that produce enormous amounts of data and function as very efficient chips in a huge data-processing mechanism, but these data-cows hardly maximise the human potential. People are happy to give away their most valuable asset–their personal data–in exchange for free email services and funny cat videos.
If you don’t feel at home in your body, you will never feel at home in the world.
What does it mean to be European in 2018? To argue vehemently about immigration, about the EU, and about the limits of capitalism, obsessively ask yourself ‘what defines my identity?’ and to worry about an ageing population, about rampant consumerism and about global warming.
Educated // Tara Westover I began to experience the most powerful advantage of money: the ability to think of things besides money.
V českém jazyce.
Sapiens // Yuval Noah Harari Stále více vědců vnímá kulturu jako určitý druh duševní infekce nebo parazita, přičemž lidé jsou jeho nic netušícím hostitelem. Kulturní myšlenka, jako víra v křesťanské nebe nebo v komunistické nebe na zemi, může přimět člověka, který tyto myšlenky šíří, až k smrti.
Přesně tak, jako obchod s otroky nevznikl z nenávisti vůči Afričanům, ani moderní živočišný průmysl nepohání nepřátelství vůči zvířatům. Pohání ho lhostejnost.
Proč Spíme // Matthew Walker Mozek nedokáže „dospat“ spánkový deficit. Ospalost nelze přemoci silou vůle. Objektivně nedokážeme posoudit vlastní spánkovou deprivaci. Ideální doba spánku je sedm až devět hodin denně.
V anglickém jazyce.
12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos // Jordan Peterson. In societies that are well-functioning—competence is a prime determiner of status. Competence. Ability. Skill. Not power.
Why Women Have Better Sex Under Socialism: And Other Arguments for Economic Independence // Kristen Ghodsee. If people feel loved and supported for who they are rather than what they own, capitalism loses one of the most valuable tools it has: it can no longer convince us that we need to buy more things to fill the void left by our lack of personal connection.
Born a Crime // Trevor Noah. Comfort can be dangerous. Comfort provides a floor but also a ceiling.
The Last Black Unicorn // Tiffany Haddish. I believe my purpose is to bring joy to people, to make them laugh, and to share my story to help them.
Lean In // Sheryl Sandberg. We compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who may not even exist yet.
Shoe Dog // Phil Knight. I’d like to publicly acknowledge the power of luck. Athletes get lucky, poets get lucky, businesses get lucky. Hard work is critical, a good team is essential, brains and determination are invaluable, but luck may decide the outcome. Some people might not call it luck. They might call it Tao, or Logos, or Jñāna, or Dharma. Or Spirit. Or God.
Homo Deus // Yuval Noah Harari. Sapiens rule the world because only they can weave an intersubjective web of meaning: a web of laws, forces, entities and places that exist purely in their common imagination. This web allows humans alone to organise crusades, socialist revolutions and human rights movements.
V českém jazyce.
Koncept Kontinua // Jean Liedloff. Ustrašený pohled, myšlenka „jen ať ti to nespadne“ nebo slib: „Pozor! Spadneš!“ — to všechno protiřečí dětskému pudu sebezáchovy a imitačním sklonům a nakonec to způsobí, že dítě poslechne, talíř upustí a (nebo) ze židle spadne.
Moje Milá Smrti // Veronika Hurdová. Cítím, že pokud už musím být silná, tak hlavně pro sebe. Pro nikoho jiného to není třeba.
Moudrost Nejistoty // Allan Watts. Otevřená mysl však ví, že i ty nejpodrobněji prozkoumané oblasti nejsou ve skutečnosti vůbec poznány, ale jen označkovány a tisíckrát po sobě změřeny.
Nesnesitelná Lehkost Bytí // Milan Kundera. Věrnost je první ze všech ctností; věrnost dává jednotu našemu životu, který by se jinak roztříštil na tisíc chvilkových dojmů jako na tisíce střepin.
Falešná Pařížanka // Kamila Boudová. Pokud podle vás oblečení vyjadřuje kreativitu a osobnost člověka, tak jediné, co vyjadřuje váš outfit, je korporátní hamižnost. Kreativity v té dnešní módě moc nezbylo.
V anglickém jazyce.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change // Stephen R. Covey Zabývej se pouze tím, co můžeš ovlivnit. Čím chceš trávit čas, než umřeš? Neříkej, co děláš. Do it. Think Win-Win. Poslouchej, pochop druhé. Poté pověz svůj názor, příběh, raď. Buduj vztahy, které Ti pomůžou ve Tvém cíli. Zjednodušuj si věci, pokud můžeš a neovlivní to výsledek.
Nonviolent Communication // Pham Hoa The intention by expressing gratitude is all-important: to celebrate life, nothing else. We’re not trying to reward the other person. We want the other person to know how our life has been enriched by what they did.
How To Love // Thich Nhat Hanh When our hearts are small, our understanding and compassion are limited, and we suffer. We can’t accept or tolerate others and their shortcomings, and we demand that they change. But when our hearts expand, these same things don’t make us suffer anymore. We have a lot of understanding and compassion and can embrace others. We accept others as they are, and then they have a chance to transform.
Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.
The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person. You can’t offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Learn how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.
To love without knowing how to love wounds the person we love. To know how to love someone, we have to understand them. To understand, we need to listen.
Slowness // Milan Kundera I beg you friend, be happy. I have the vague sense that on your capacity to be happy hangs our only hope.
The feeling of being elect is present, for instance, in every love relation. Each of us suffers (more or less) from the baseness of his too common- place life and yearns to escape it and rise to a higher level. All of us have known the illusion (more or less strong) that we are worthy of that higher level, that we are predestined and chosen for it.
The 4-Hour Workweek // Tim Ferriss Happiness=excitement goals: What would excite me instead of what do you want.
LEWIS CARROLL, Alice in Wonderland: „Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?“ „That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,“ said the Cat. „I don’t much care where…“ said Alice. „Then it doesn’t matter which way you go said the Cat.“
ADD: Adventure Deficit Disorder
Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.
If you’re not uncomfortable, then you’re probably stuck at an „acceptable“ level.
The Power of Persuasion
Make Good Art
Stumbling On Happiness
Amanda Palmer // The Art of Asking
Seneca // Stoicism
Bad science // Ben Goldacre
On Liberty // John Stuart Mill
The Righteous Mind: Why Good People Are Divided by Politics and Religion
Books to read again:
Forrest Carter // The education of Little Tree
Don Miguel Ruiz // The Four Agreements
Gabriel García Marquez // One Hundred Years of Solitude
Milan Kundera // Identity, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Joke, Slowness, Immortality
Kurt Vonnegut // Mother Night
Haruki Murakami // South of the Border West of the Sun
Houellebecq // The Possibility of an Island